Surviving Autism

I think the truth about kids with autism maturing as they age is true because my daughter who will be 10 tommorrow shows significant changes in her behaviors. It’s something to be told to all parents who are just in the early years of living, raising and taking care of their child with autism, a little hope at the end of it all. Their peculiarities will not go away but they will definitely mature in time and with a lot of patience your child can live in harmony and independently and you as a parent don’t have to be worrisome for them.

Now that she’s 10 she’s showing interest in helping and actually doing the household chores like washing the dishes and clearing her mess on the table, taking her trash on the garbage disposal, going to the toilet ( with some accidents along the way still but huge
improvements from way back) and she
to do uncomplicated things like turn on or off the lights, close or open the door, get the scissors, spoon, plates, glass. Cups etc.

I always thought my daughter will be a baby forever because of her ways.  But yesterday I was hit with reality, she is growing up and is turning to an adult real fast.  She’s now on the stage of puberty.  Her body is taking form now and there are a lot of changes in her physique that I am not ready to face with her yet.

It’s really true that you can never prepare yourself from anything.  T is just turning 10 in January but her adolescence comes fast.  I’m not ready, she’s not ready.

God another set of fears are rushing on me.  In fact I had nightmares last night.  God help me.

There’s a huge difference with my daughter now compares to the first day she had her interventions.   I think kids with autism will mature in time and I think that’s what’s happening to her although I believe the interventions she got school and therapy helped a lot.

I just had a meeting with my daughter’s teacher and she said although my daughter is a fast learner and she sees a lot of potential in her,  she can see how uninterested she was in academics.   Because of that, next school year there will be lesser academics and more practical and applied daily life practices will be taught to her and they will focus more with familiarizing her with her own name, home address, phone numbers , computer lessons, socialization and domestication.

Honestly I’m excited with the new curriculum that will be given to her.  As her mom I see that what she mostly need are lessons about taking care of herself and knowing important details about her in case she gets lost (God forbid) or an emergency arises.

I’m also excited about more socialization activities because I think she is very much ready to have playmates and hopefully she will be encourage to talk more often when she is exposed to kids like her.

As soon as you see something different with your child don’t delay and immediately seek a specialist to test your child because early intervention really helps.

Give them all the love and care you can give. These kids are very loving and caring person. They will always be innocent and pure so give them all the love and understanding. They don’t hurt people unless they were raised violently. They are not aggressive people who harms without a reason to do so. They have feelings that they can’t explain ergo the peculiar mannerisms and habits. Try to be as patient as you can but I know sometimes its too much you loose. If you do talk to them apologize and show them love as much as you can.

Take them out don’t hide them from public eye. Never be ashamed of your kids. Expose them to environments they’ve never seen before. Don’t mind the stares or the rude comments. Just know when you should leave the place before things gets out of hand.

Find interventions like occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, socialization, special schools. You will always find a support group in the guise of the moms with kids with autism.

Don’t loose hope, these kids are a blessing. They will be your source of joy and comfort. They will love you unconditionally and they will be your baby forever.

Yes , its her birthday today.  She is 9 years old now .  From the first time I started with her intervention for her autism (OT and one-on-one class), she improved a lot.  She listens and understands and communicating much better than before.  Thank God.

I hope I’ll get a schedule soon for her speech assessment because I can tell she wants to talk now.

I know its been a looooong time since I made a post.  Embarrassing to say but I lost the password and even the email recovery doesn’t even work to get it.  I think this blog has been hacked or sort and whoever hacked it decided to return it to me today.  Thanks for the Merry Christmas gift, as if.

Anyway, I promise I’ll try to update as often as I could.  By the way this blog won a special award as an Advocacy Blog Awards from the Emerging Influential Blog Awards couple months back but I wasn’t able to share the honor because I can’t post.

Merry Christmas everyone and Happy Birthday Jesus!

My daughter is a very picky eater.  She doesn’t eat just anything you give her. She has to smell it before she take it in her mouth and if there’s a scent in the food you prepare that she didn’t like she wouldn’t even smell it.  She will shove it away from her.

This past few months, since after that food seasoning Magic Sarap TV commercial went on air about the many ways you can cook and serve eggs she suddenly likes eggs.

Everytime she wants to eat she would point to the fridge and shout eggs in her own language.  If you didn’t understand her she would take you to the fridge and point the egg.  Which means she wants egg.

She would watch me cook it for her.  She liked it fried, not sunny side up, she doesn’t like runny egg yolk, she wants the yolk as the same consistency as the white.  She could finish two whole eggs in one eating and she even want more every meal but I try to moderate her egg intake because too much of everything is bad.

She is also brand conscious because of those TV commercials.  She can recognize Nestle, Sustagen, Lactum, Magnolia, Johnson’s Baby Lotion, Dove and any other brand she sees on TV even at a distance.

When we are out in the mall she would direct herself to the supermarket or to Watsons and Mercury Drug a place I think she feels comfort because there are so many things that are familiar to her.

Knowing my daughter has great memory and brand recognition I feel that although her phase of development is slow she will be able to pull through someday.  I’m not expecting too much but I am hopeful.

I’ve blogged about this before but I will blog about this again.   It seems like people nowadays forgot the lessons they learned on their GMRC (Good Manners and Right Conduct) and were absent when the teacher said it is rude to stare at people.

Since the school year began, I have encountered more than 10 people staring at my child.   It annoys me so much although I know my daughter is not bothered at it.

Well I am bothered.  The stares are just annoying that I have to stare back at them to give a taste of their own medicine.

I know I stare at people sometimes, especially if they look nice to look at but I know when to stop and I know my stare wasn’t as obvious and as scrutinizing as the stares my daughter gets from people.

Stop staring please!

I feel insulted whenever people ask me “Why don’t I make another baby/ sister/brother for my daughter?”

Ugh, are they so insensitive to ask such question?  What if I ask them “Why do you look so ugly?”   I wonder what reply would I get.

I  was trying to be nice by saying “I am worried that my next child will be like her.  It’s already hard taking care of one I don’t want another.”

Why don’t they just lay-off with their asking and mind their own business.

But honestly, even if I decided to have another child in the near future I have this worry that what if she or he will have autism too.  Its too much.

Its also expensive raising a child with autism alone.  They were already told a million times I am a single mom so what do they expect me to find another sperm donor? Duh.

Lay-off with the questioning will you?

Bringing the child to a physician or a family doctor is not enough.  Its not that they don’t know anything about it but they don’t know how to break the news in a manner the parents will be able to accept.  I experienced the same way with our family doctor.  He could have said it in a better way that will not offend me.  I should thank him for noticing something different with my child but I resented him after that. I hated him after telling me that my daughter might be autistic.  I rarely see him after that I resent him since then.  How could he say my daughter is autistic when he haven’t done any test or sorts to say such.

When is the right time to bring your child for an assessment?

If you feel there is something wrong with your child or you notice something different about her then don’t think twice get an assessment immediately.

Things to look out for are the following:

1. If your child doesn’t say any single word at 15 months
2. If your child is not able to say  two-word phrases by 24 months  (i.e. Mama eat)
3. Doesn’t turn to his name when called
4. Repetitive behavior or mannerism (holding his ears, circling around, hand flapping, wall or head banging)
5. Does not sustain eye contact
6. Apparent “regression” or loss of words that the child was able to use before
7. Does not bring objects to show to parents
8. Inappropriate facial expressions
9. Does not point using an index finger to indicate his needs
10. Does not show interest in playing or interacting with other children
11. Side-glancing
12. May have splinter skills like reading at an early age without understanding what he reads.
13. repeats what others say without understanding its meaning (parroting or echolalia)
14. May be oversensitive to sounds, sights, smells

Where to take your kids for diagnosis?

I highly recommend the Philippines Children’s Medical Center (PCMC) this is the best place to take kids with health problems or concerns.  They have all the specialist everyone would need and they have the network of all practicing development physician in the country.  However getting a schedule with a development physician is very hard so you should call as soon as possible.

The Medical City (TMC) also offers diagnosis for Php2,000.  This will take an hour or more of observing the child.  The developmental Pediatrics Program Clinic of  TMC offers surveillance and screening of children for autism and other related disorders.  You can call  (632) 6356789 ext 6630 for an appointment.